New Delhi: "It is a
wise father that knows his own child" - Shakespeare's words
continue to resonate in the modern world where fathers are moving
away from being strict, disciplinarian figures to a source of
emotional support for their children.
"My father is not just my father! Of course, he is strict at times
as far as my studies are concerned, he gives me limited money like
all stingy fathers...but he is also a great friend. He takes me
out on weekends, we go bowling, we discuss my personal life, he
guides me...and he is a fantastic counsellor!" Abhinav Sethi, a
17-year-old college-goer here, told IANS.
Many fathers have started going out of their way to understand
their child - once the preserve of mothers.
"I think it is very important to connect with the child; otherwise
they will always be in fear of you. If we try to be friends with
them, they will share a lot of stuff with us, as they do with
their friends. There's so much stress these days, so much
competition...so if we start pressurising them with the typical
father ways, it's not going to help at all," says Arvind Singh, a
father to two boys.
Films reflect society in many ways and it seems to be true in
terms of the portrayal of a father on the big or small screen. The
entertainment industry has attempted to portray the more
compassionate side of fathers in recent times.
Ekta Kapoor's recently launched TV show "Bade Achche Lagte Hain"
shows actress Sakshi Tanwar's on-screen father as more loving,
considerate and understanding than her mother. In "Pavitra Rishta",
Sushant Singh Rajput's character has a father who is more
compassionate than his mother.
Earlier shows like "Jassi Jaissi Koi Nahin" or "Astitva - Ek Prem
Kahani" showed protagonists enjoying better communication with
their dads respectively.
Cut to celluloid and films like "Wake Up Sid!", "Kabhi Khushi
Kabhie Gham", "Waqt: The Race Against Time", "Apne" and "Yamla
Pagla Deewana" have portrayed the father's vulnerable side.
A recent survey by online matrimony site jeevansathi.com revealed
how a father is moving towards a role where the child can look up
to him for a feedback and be the confidant while choosing a life
About 45 percent of the 25,000 respondents, who were independent
youngsters looking for a life partner on their own, depended on
their dads to help them make a decision.
"The new generation of children of marriageable age are starting
to lean towards their parents for opinion. Traditionally it was
the mother who played the influencing factor and the father the
decision maker," said Rohit Manghnani, business head,
Today the roles are changing and the survey shows that young men
or women take the decision and parental feedback is a key
influencing factor, said Manghnani, adding, "The father has also
started playing the role of the influencer rather than the
But there are some who belong to old school of thoughts. Popular
sarod players Ayaan and Amaan Ali Khan, who have a guru in their
father, sarod maestro Amjad Ali Khan, says their father likes to
maintain a certain protocol.
"It took us time to draw the line as to when he was a father and
when he was a guru. This realisation obviously happened as we grew
older. We feel ecstatic to think and realize from time to time
that our guru is our father. As classical musicians, music for us
was not just a profession but a complete way of life.
"Abba is an old timer with regard to many things. For one, even
though he is a dear friend to us, a certain protocol in the
relationship is always maintained," the duo told IANS.
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